Heart Ripper

a "cisgender" TTRPG by @tiiimezombie

v1.0.0 | 2025-09-28

You feel it again.
Your gut has locked up. Your lungs aren’t flexing. You are quote unquote “stressed.”

First of all, embarrassing.
Second, you’re literally making it all up.
Look, literally everyone else has a day job or school. Everyone else has deadlines and honestly learning about yours would make them roll their eyes. You’re probably so hard done by that your singular friend scheduled an event that’s more than three days away.

But try to put that aside. I’m here to help you with your real problem.

You know what I’m talking about.
You got this shitty little notion in your stunted little will, that there’s more to life than “pretending your body doesn’t exist.” Everybody looked at puberty as a resigned deathmarch. Every body hates being connected to the things between their legs. E v e r y b o d y seriously considers losing their physical gender markers as an improvement we're too cowardly to admit.

So let me help you.

Take a hike.
Get lost.
You’re going to travel a moderately uncomfortable distance away from your home. The first time I did this, I just walked. I walked until my legs hurt. The second time I walked there, the effort wasn’t enough and the process didn’t work. I’ve found using transit or a car to help the distance “feel” far helps, and then you’ll want put in the legwork afterwards.

Your destination is any body of water with rocks and a bit of nature nearby. If there’s no big’uns, a river works in a pinch. It just has to be deep.

You are going to find a large rock, okay?
Hold the rock close to your incorrectly shaped chest, and willpower every emotion you have into it.

I’m talking about squeezing the rock and imagining with all of your brain that it’s the thing with gender problems, not you.
You’ll know it’s working if your limbs shake from the effort. It ain't easy but I swear this is the only thing that works.

If it's your first time, you could very briefly hold the rock up and marvel at how much better you'll feel in a moment. Don't get distracted.
It’s a symbol now, of your misguided push change your life.
It’s the thing that’s hurting you.

This is the important bit.

I need you to launch that sucker as far away into the water as you can physically manage.
It’s evil and painful and needs to be away from you forever. You need to get rid of it.

There’s a couple ways you can screw this up:

If it doesn’t splash you’re going to have to find another rock and repeat the process.
If you drop the rock and it lands by your foot, you’ll get peace for like maybe a half hour. You’re going to feel bad before you even reach home.
Don't try to throw it again, just give up. You're hopeless.
If you lob it into the woods, it’s the emotions will grow back within you with a vengeance.
If you fuck this up so bad, and you take it home like some kind of twisted trophy?
That you went all the way there, poured your twisted “hope” that one day your physical body could feel like it belongs to you, and you kept that reminder on hand???

Unacceptable.

You will take my advice.
You will play this game correctly.
You will live a normal, emotionally-muted life like the gods above intended.

Go on.

Rip your heart out.

This one goes out to my internal monologue, who's a prick and deserves ridicule.

Also shout out to Tumblr user isuggestforcefem, for those of you who are bad at this game and really want more "rocks" to collect.